it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
