yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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