I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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