Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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