I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
