Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize