I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
