I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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