Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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