i would punch a child for taco bell
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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