my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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