i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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