So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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