those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
