Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
