my sisters under your porch take her home
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
