mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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