goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My vagina is very pro this idea
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
