conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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