take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
