i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
