Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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