you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So squirting runs in the family.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Randomize
