the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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