My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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