I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
