I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
