I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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