6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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