just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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