I'm gonna have a badass scar
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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