Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
