new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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