So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
