You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
