I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
