Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize