so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
