I cockslap morals
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
