**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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