You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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