This is not my ceiling
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
