Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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