It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
