I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
