i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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