he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
