1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The power of my boobs compel you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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