he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
