Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
