just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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