she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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