I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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