omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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