love makes seman taste better
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize