Umm I'm too high to move.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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