You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
