I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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