Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
my liver is dry heaving
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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