He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
