I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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