HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
