No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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