The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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