K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
