oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do herpes really smell.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
A+ Viking dick
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
