3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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