hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
someone get that fucking seahorse.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
